Caregivers can be a dying breed. It is a startling statistic that 68% of caregivers die before their care recipient. This makes an excellent call to action for this episode on Celebrating Caregiving in America.
We release this episode during the holiday months of November and December because caregivers often find themselves even further isolated at this time. Listeners who know caregivers will learn about how to reach out to your caregiver friend, and caregivers, we want you to know how valued you are after listening in.
Another special thank you to our sponsor Beacon Senior News, always shining the bright light on current events and topics of interest to seniors. The Beacon can be found at libraries, grocery stores and other community locations in the Pikes Peak Region as well as their on-line presence. Catch all the news at beaconseniornews.com/
Aging with Altitude is recorded in the Pikes Peak region with a focus on topics of aging interest across the country. We talk about both the everyday and novel needs and approaches to age with altitude – whether you’re in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida or Leadville, Colorado. The Pikes Peak Area Agency on Aging is the producer.
Transcript
MELISSA MARTS:
Family caregivers are one in a million. They are the unsung heroes who regularly serve day in and day out, without questions, without a break. But 68% of these heroes will die before their care recipients.
During the month of November, we celebrate caregivers across America, answering the call of, I’m celebrating caregiving because, well, without it, my family member might not make it. Or if it wasn’t for my caregiver, well, something tragic might result and I might end up someplace I don’t want to be.
Listen in to how one family caregiver support program in Colorado is elevating the story of family caregivers and supporting them to keep doing their good work.
VOICEOVER:
You’re listening to Studio 809 Podcast. This is what community sounds like.
MARTS:
Welcome to Aging with Altitude, a podcast providing information, advice, and resources for seniors, families, and caregivers, to help you live your best life, courtesy of the Pikes Peak Area Agency on Aging. We’re coming to you from the Studio 809 Community Podcast Studio at The Next Us, a professional cooperative environment for small businesses in downtown Colorado Springs.
I’m your host, Melissa Marts, with the Pikes Peak Area Council of Governments’ Area Agency on Aging. I’m taking a moment right now to thank our sponsor, Beacon Senior News. And I have in the studio with me, Managing Editor Rhonda Ray.
Rhonda, tell us what to look forward to in the November Beacon Senior News. What’s coming out?
RHONDA RAY:
Well, in honor of Veterans Day, we have three articles that are veterans related, and they’re sort of all over the emotional spectrum.
Because our cover story is about Angels of America’s Fallen. I don’t know if you’re familiar with them, but they step up and walk alongside kiddos who have lost a parent serving our country. It tugs at your heartstrings, but yet it gives you hope. They’re doing a lot for those kids. And so there will be an interview with Joe Lewis, who started Angels of America’s Fallen when he served and had some buddies that were killed in the line of duty and, yeah, and just thinking of their families. So that’s on one end of the spectrum.
MARTS:
Okay.
RAY:
Kind of in the middle here is, but helpful, is about veteran service officers. That is something that even people who serve, they don’t always know there’s a VSO out there to help them.
They help with claims. Apparently, dealing with the VA can be kind of convoluted. It can be a lengthy process, not always clear-cut what you should do. And sometimes people think if they miss their window of time, well, it’s too late. I didn’t do it right, or I didn’t do it at the time. Not so. So we will have some real practical, helpful information, and who your VSO is in El Paso, Teller, Pueblo, and Fremont counties.
MARTS:
Super. Great
RAY:
And then on the much lighter end of the spectrum.
So remember the old show, Hogan’s Heroes?
MARTS:
Oh, my. Yes.
RAY:
Yes. So we’re going to revisit Hogan’s Heroes. Interestingly enough, and sheerly by coincidence, there was a real Hogan.
So that was very interesting for me to discover that. So we will tell you all about the real, the real one, who is impressive in his own right.
MARTS:
Okay. And it’s not Hulk Hogan, the-
RAY:
Yeah, no, no, no, no.
MARTS:
There’s a different Hogan out there. Great. Good.
RAY:
Yeah:
MARTS:
Well, look forward to immersing myself and others too, in veterans topics and veterans issues, and looking forward to seeing that. And what’s interesting, you know, it’s holiday time in November. So we start thinking about Thanksgiving, and then of course, Christmas and all those things.
And so recognizing and acknowledging that so many of our service members are serving overseas, they’re not even with family. And so having that moment of appreciation for people who are spending time doing that. And so I appreciate you covering the stories and bringing it to our forefront to think about what our veterans are doing for us and what they have done for us.
So thank you for that.
RAY:
Yes.
MARTS:
Anything on caregiving, knowing that there’s caregiving needs that are out there? Are you guys thinking about any topics on caregiving or exploring that?
RAY:
We always do. But there is, like for November, we have an article coming up about Friendsgiving and Solitary Celebrations.
MARTS:
Oh, wow.
RAY:
And that would have some caregiving overtones, because there’s a different set of expectations when the holiday comes around and someone is being cared for. And how do you handle that? How do you handle travel? How do you do it in a way that is inclusive, but not overwhelming?
MARTS:
Yeah, absolutely. There is a thing. And it makes me think of a film that I saw in October called Four Mothers that actually tapped into these mothers traveling and doing some things together. So anyway, glad to hear that you’re digging into that and exploring it a little bit, how to travel safer and better with family members.
Sounds good. Great. Anything else for the November edition that you’re looking forward to?
RAY:
We’ve got Black Forest AARP. They’re a great group of people out there in Black Forest doing things for the community. So that might be something you’d want to plug into.
The Butte Theater, we are spotlighting them. What a wonderful place. It’s just fun to go there. It’s like a real event. I mean, going to the theater is always an event, but it’s just like a world away you feel like when you’re there in that little mountain town, you know?
MARTS:
Which little mountain town are you talking about?
RAY:
Cripple Creek.
MARTS:
Okay. So for people who aren’t totally familiar, say a little bit more about the Butte Theater and Cripple Creek.
RAY:
It’s a historic building. They usually do a lot for the holidays, which is why we wanted to spotlight them now because they do, what was it? The Vampire of Cripple Creek. And then they usually do like a Christmas carol or something special for Christmas. I think this year it’s on Bing Crosby and yeah, so White Christmas.
MARTS:
Oh, good. Good. Good to get that out so people can make their plans and travel and get some reservations up there in Cripple Creek. So great.
Well, thank you. Tell us where people can pick up a copy of the November edition so that they can stay up to speed and plan for these things. Where can we find the Beacon Senior News?
RAY:
Safeway, Goodwill, the library branches, all the YMCA’s, and some surprising places that you might not think of, like banks, restaurants, doctor’s offices, various points, the Area Agency on Aging, right?
MARTS:
Yes, definitely. Thanks.
RAY:
Yes.
MARTS:
Yeah. We appreciate having those there. And we are high, full off, in open enrollment. So we have lots of people coming through our lobby at this point in time and they will until December 7th. So yes, we’ll have lots of Beacon Senior News floating around at our office too. Thank you.
RAY:
Right, that’s good.
MARTS:
All right. Take care, Rhonda. Till next time.
RAY:
All right, thank you.
MARTS:
Today, I’m in the studio with my coworker and colleague Lucy Cahill. We are here to kind of dig in and talk a little bit about caregiving. November is caregiving month.
And so happy to be talking about what that means to be a caregiver and how to appreciate caregivers in ways that we don’t always think about. But first, Lucy has been working in the area of senior services for a long time. How many years, Lucy?
LUCY CAHILL:
Oh, probably 20 to 25, I guess.
MARTS:
Okay.
CAHILL:
Nobody’s counting though.
MARTS:
I know. I shouldn’t be counting either.
But we’re happy that you have joined us at the area agency on aging for the last couple of years as the director for our Family Caregiver Support Center. But prior to that, you were the managing editor, publisher for the Senior Blue Book. So you traveled all over the state and know lots of people in the senior industry and have spent many years getting to know different folks and kind of what they’re doing.
So we’re glad that you’re now sharing that knowledge and information with us at the area agency on aging. And so as we get in and start thinking about caregiving, it is National Caregiving Month. And I did do a little bit of digging and found out that some figures here that I just want to put out in the beginning to just kind of acknowledge and recognize that across the country, there are 53 million family caregivers that provide unpaid care, generating an estimated economic value of over $470 billion that are saved, you know, with government spending.
So again, 53 million people, I thought, what does that look like? Well, Colorado’s population is only 5.9 million. So that’s a lot of caregivers. If I think about the state of Colorado, that’s like 5.9 million in the state of Colorado, 53 million caregivers, it’s just mind blowing.
CAHILL:
And there’s of the 5.9 million of us here in Colorado, 600,000 of us are family caregivers. So it’s a good percentage of folks that are providing this care, free, without any kind of training all over the state.
MARTS:
Yeah, yeah. And you and I have kind of both been caregivers, we’re going to talk about a little bit of your experience here in a few minutes. But in your experience, how do we actually recognize family caregivers? What do we do to acknowledge them to recognize them? What does that look like?
CAHILL:
Well, I don’t know that we’re doing a great job as a whole, but we certainly are making some strides locally, I think, with our Family Caregiver Support Center. The beauty is family caregiving is one of the mandates that’s set out by the Older Americans Act that every state has to provide some sort of support for family caregivers. Here in Colorado Springs, through our Family Caregiver Support Center, we get to honor caregivers in a lot of different ways.
My favorite way is with our Caregiver Pampering Day, which I can tell you all about that right now if you want me to.
MARTS:
Let’s do, let’s talk about it a little bit.
CAHILL:
But yeah, so we take a half a day in June, and this year, it will either be probably June 6 or June 13, so pencil that in. But we take a half a day and we provide really fun and camaraderie for family caregivers. It’s a community event. We certainly couldn’t do it without the generous support of lots of our sponsors. But we have folks that bring in both breakfast and lunch. We have providers that come in and provide different services like chair massages, paraffin hand waxing, we had a juggler come in and teach our caregivers how to juggle. We had cardio drumming.
It’s just a lot of fun, and we hope that we’re providing a little bit of respite from the stress of being a caregiver and taking some of that stress away by allowing our caregivers to have fun, get to know each other, realize that they’re not alone in their journey. And they come back year after year and meet up with their friends. And it’s just a great day.
So come and join us if you’re a family caregiver.
MARTS:
Yeah, I think that’s just great. The idea of learning how to juggle. You know, it’s so hard as a caregiver to get out of your routine and rigmarole and also just acknowledge that it’s okay to take a break and kind of step away, and then to show up and have to be coordinated and learn juggling. Who does that?
CAHILL:
Well, there’s no judgment. It’s just fun. And most of us actually don’t juggle, we just laugh. But it’s, you know, when you’re in there trying to figure out how to juggle, you are not thinking about being a caregiver. You are not thinking about the next shower you have to give or the next meal you have to make. You get to just concentrate on the balls flying in front of you.
MARTS:
That’s right. Right. And how do we keep them all up in the air? But then when they fall, it’s still okay.
CAHILL:
Yes. Yep, yep, yep, and just try again.
MARTS:
Yep. Yep. And I’m so glad, you know, that you just mentioned and talked about kind of the day-to-day struggles that caregivers do, where they’re taking care of toileting, they’re making sure meals are getting done, you know, appointments are getting taken care of, scheduling, talking with other professionals in the community.
I mean, all of those lists of things that caregivers do. And it’s just hard to walk away from that sometimes and realize that you need to take time for yourself.
CAHILL:
Well, and that’s one of the things we emphasize with everything we do through the Family Caregiver Support Center, whether we’re in a consultation with a caregiver, whether we’re at a support group, Caregiver Pampering Day, our message is very loud and clear that it is all about self-care. And a lot of caregivers that come see us, they don’t realize that’s the lesson that they’re going to learn today. They think they’re going to learn more the mechanics of caregiving or the resources, and we’ll teach them that too.
But my hope is the most important message they take away is how important it is to take care of themselves. And so we really do, hopefully, give them ways to do that, sharing ideas and resources and things that they can go do to take a break.
A lot of what we deal with is the emotional side of that. And we give caregivers permission to take a break and to walk away from their person because a lot of times they don’t realize that they even can. It’s their spouse, it’s their parent. And until death do us part, I promised her I’d never put her in a nursing home, things like that.
And caregivers literally will sacrifice their own health and wellness to provide the best care for their loved one. And while that’s a beautiful thing, you don’t have to sacrifice. You can strive, you can thrive, and we can help you learn how to do that. And it comes back to self-care.
MARTS:
So I’ve mentioned in a few other previous podcasts that Rocky Mountain Women’s Film hosted their film festival in October. And I was able to go see a film called For Mothers. And little did I know how great this was going to be.
So it is a film about gay men, who all are taking care of their mothers. And it’s in Ireland. And one of the men is a blooming kind of writer, he’s a writer, and his mother suffered a stroke, and he’s taking care of her.
And he’s trying to talk with his agents in the United States, and mom is ringing her bell to get his attention. And he’s on his cell phone, and he’s just he’s doing anything and everything. And it just made me realize, because she’s ringing the bell, and then she has a little electronic talking device, and she starts screaming on her talking device, I need to use the bathroom.
And so here is this man who’s trying to work at the same time, and he’s got his cell phone tucked in his ear, and he’s literally going and getting his mom out of bed and wheeling her into the bathroom to toilet her, instead of telling the people on the phone, wait a minute, I might have to just take a minute here, or just watching him juggle all the balls in the air.
And I just realized it’s unbelievable what caregivers put themselves through as they try to kind of manage it all at the same time. And the film, of course, really brings this to light in a comedic way, which is good. And it does turn out to be a good ending in the end for everyone.
But just really interesting, because I know when people call, they’re thinking that maybe the Family Caregiver Support Center is going to give them some ideas on, you know, making sure that they keep all the appointments going and get mom toileted or dad toileted on time. But to reiterate again, what you said is when people call and talk, you’re reminding them to take care of themselves first, right?
CAHILL:
Yes. I mean, it’s the metaphor of the oxygen mask in the airplane. We refer to that a lot. But you know, if you can’t breathe, you can’t provide good care.
You and I were at that talk at the library with the UCCS aging students. And I use her reference a lot when she’s talking about the stress that caregivers are under, and how difficult it is to make good decisions and get through your day-to-day when your stress is so high.
And she described it as, you know, two people walking down a trail and the bush shakes next to them. And one of them sees a squirrel and the other one sees a mountain lion. And the one that sees the mountain lion is running down the trail away from the mountain lion, and can’t figure out why the friend is not running after her. And the friend is wondering why she’s running away when it’s just a little squirrel.
And that mountain lion is the stress that caregivers feel. And when that mountain lion is always chasing you, you can’t make good decisions. You can’t provide good care. You can’t take care of yourself because you’re in fight or flight the whole time. And most of the time, a lot of the time, caregivers don’t even realize they’re in this state of fight or flight and don’t realize that the toll that it takes.
But stress changes the chemicals in our body. Long term stress changes chemicals, it wreaks havoc on pretty much every system and organ in our bodies. So we have to get the stress down and caregiving’s stressful.
So again, we go back to self care, self care, self care.
MARTS:
Yep, yeah. And in November, you know, with National Caregiver Month, it’s really important to be thinking and reflecting on this time too, because it’s holiday time. And so what do holidays look like for caregivers.
And the last thing that they’re do, of course, is give themselves a break again, especially during the holiday time. But then it’s also, possibly, a little bit hard when a family member doesn’t really celebrate the holidays the same anymore. You can’t kind of be in the holiday spirit like you used to be.
So, what kinds of things are out there for the family caregivers and the individuals themselves to kind of help get through the holiday time and kind of deal with that too?
CAHILL:
Support groups are number one. I tell people all the time, you’re not the first caregiver to roll through this city. There’s lots of you out there, 600,000 of you. Find a village, find your support group, lean into your friends. I highly recommend a good therapist. You can come talk to us at the Family Caregiver Support Center.
But a lot of it is just sort of processing that all through and realizing that it’s okay if things need to change. You know, we’ve always done Christmas or Thanksgiving or whatever in this certain way. But maybe that’s not realistic anymore.
And that’s okay. And so maybe now’s the time to change up some of the traditions. And maybe we don’t have to do the Christmas the way we always used to do it, because things have changed. And so Christmas has to change too.
But if you’re feeling the stress, come talk to us, find a support group, find your people.
MARTS:
Yeah. And so the Family Caregiver Support Center at the area agency on aging office has a resource library with some books and things in it as well. And I’m hoping I’m going to be able to remember the name of the book.
There’s a book there about dealing with difficult parents. And I think that as a caregiver, sometimes people are taking care of parents that were really challenging for them. And here we are taking care of this person that maybe there was some conflicts as we were growing up as children as we were adults with our parents.
And so I found that book to be really helpful in a lot of ways. And for other caregivers who are out there, I just want to remind folks that there is that library in our space for people to be able to, kind of, check some books out and even keep them permanently. So I’m glad we have that resource.
And so I’m walking the path of a caregiver. I know, Lucy, you have walked the path as a caregiver. Talk about a little bit about your path when you were with your parents and kind of how that was as being a caregiver and navigating that with your siblings.
And what was it like?
CAHILL:
Well, it was hard. And this is what I do for a living. I’ve been doing this for a long, long time. So everybody just expected that I was going to swoop in and take care of it all.
And so, of course, things don’t go as planned. And the plan was never that my mom was supposed to go before my dad. But of course, that’s what happened. They were in California. I’m here. My brother was in California as well. So that was fortunate for me. And my dad was bipolar. And he had a wealth of other health conditions too, neuropathy and all kinds of things. But it was really the bipolar that challenged my brother and I so much.
And we realized that, you know, my mom was part of the 68% of spousal caregivers that die before their care recipients.
And my mom put off her healthcare for any excuse ever. So taking care of my dad was an easy one. But she needed a procedure. She put it off. And then we lost her. And my brother and I found ourselves trying to deal with bipolar Don. And it was quite stressful and not very easy. They had been married for over 60 years and were very codependent on each other. And my dad couldn’t make decisions.
He had no idea how much they even made or what a house was even worth. And my brother really took the brunt of it and had to deal with most of it. And I could just go in, I could swoop in, do everything wrong, make a mess of things and come back to Colorado and cry for a few days while my brother cleaned it all up.
And he finally had to say to me, Can you just stop working when you come out here and be my sister?
MARTS:
Wow.
CAHILL:
And I said, No, of course not. But with my therapist and weekly appointments, I heard his message. And eventually we found the right situation for my dad, which was not a typical traditional path to his well being. But we struggled and we found the right path. And we were able to provide him with what we believe in our hearts to be a good quality of life. And that’s all we could do.
We did the best we could with the resources that we had. And even though I know exactly how to do this, we still made mistakes. And we still cried. And we still looked at each other and said, Well, we’ll try again tomorrow. And we did.
MARTS:
Yeah.
CAHILL:
And that’s really what caregiving comes down to, is good communication with the village that’s involved. And try, try again, because you’re going to make some mistakes. It’s okay.
MARTS:
You talk about crying. And I think a huge part of caregivers and whether they’re ready to be around other caregivers, or whether they’re even willing ready to pick up the phone and call an organization like ours to ask for help, has to do with grief and crying. And I know that the work that you and the staff that are with you do, focusing on getting people in touch with their grief and helping people better understand that and be comfortable with that and explore it a little bit more.
So interesting that you brought up with you and your brother, you know, just crying and dealing with it all and him having to be brave enough to say, sister, be my sister, and you don’t have to work so hard, we’ll just be siblings again.
CAHILL:
Yeah, and we teach a class a couple of times a year at the Family Caregiver Support Center called Powerful Tools for Caregivers. And you know, a lot of people think they’re going to learn the mechanics of caregiving, but that’s not really what we teach in that class. And we teach, we teach emotional regulation.
And we teach people how to tap into their emotions and learn from them. And grief is sort of a universal emotion that most caregivers experience, even before their care recipient passes away. And that’s a tough one for a lot of caregivers, they don’t realize the emotion that they’re experiencing is grief from the loss of whatever they’ve lost, their own independence, watching their parents lose their independence, their spouse, whatever their situation, there was a lot of loss in caregiving and aging.
So you know, being able to tap into those emotions and learn from them and better deal with them is going to make you a better caregiver in the long run.
MARTS:
So true. And it really is funny when you think about going out and asking for help as a caregiver. I think the first thing you do think about is you’re going to get some validation about, well, you’re managing your time just fine, and you’re contacting all the people just right, and you’ve got the right care coming into the home.
But then all of a sudden, it’s like, well, you know, how are you really handling your stress and your emotions? And what are you really doing to take care of yourself? And holy cow, that’s a whole other level there.
And so, with Family Caregiver Appreciation Month, the Association for Community Living has some questions and some things on there that I want to kind of talk about for a few minutes. And so going back to your story with your dad, with your mom, too. The Association for Community Living, one of the questions that they ask is, who did you care for? Why did you love them? So why did you love your dad?
CAHILL:
You know, it’s funny. I’m going to cry now.
MARTS:
I know.
CAHILL:
Because you brought that up. But my brother and my dad had not had a conversation with each other in probably 10 years, easily, probably more, before my mom died. I mean, my…being bipolar, it was hard to have a relationship with my dad. And my mom’s passing forced my brother and my dad to have to communicate.
And he and I did a lot of processing on that. And there were times that he said, Why am I doing this? I don’t even like this man.
And what it really came back to, and I had a very different relationship with my dad. And even though there were many times because of his bipolar, I felt that same way. We had a different bond. And I was his little princess, and I was forever his little princess till the day he died. So we had a little bit of a different look on things.
But what my brother and I came back to is that we did the best we could for him because of the love we had for our mom. And even though she probably knew it was going to be difficult for us, she expected that and to some degree probably trained us for it somewhere along the way. So we loved him because she loved him so much.
MARTS:
Yeah, yeah.
CAHILL:
You didn’t bring many tissues.
MARTS:
Yeah, yeah, we’ll make sure we get you some. And while you’re taking a breath and you know, totally families are so complicated. And the things that come up are just so deep.
And sometimes we only have so much capacity to go so far, you know, and so for the resources that we have to provide for people to help them get in touch with that is really so priceless. And I’m grateful to the Family Caregiver Support Center here in our region for being able to bring that up.
CAHILL:
Well, and I like to bring it up all the time, toot our own horn a little bit. But when I was with the Blue Book, I traveled the state and interacted with other area agencies across the state. And I really thought every community and every area agency was the same as ours.
And it is not. And we all get different amounts of funding, but we all are mandated to provide certain things and caregiver support is one of them. But not everybody has a respite voucher program. Not everybody gets to do consultations. Not everybody gets to do all things that we get to do.
So we’re just so fortunate in Colorado Springs to have the amount of resources and the quality of resources that we have, not only for family caregiving, but aging overall. So we all live in a really great place to age and to be family caregivers, you just got to ask for and accept the help when you need it.
MARTS:
Yeah, well said. And so the Association for Community Living, again, a few other little questions that they put out there as we think, as we think about, these are easier, these are easier. So now we’re going to circle back to a little better time.
So they say, ask yourself, I’m celebrating caregiving because…
CAHILL:
Because it’s hard and people need support. And that’s the bottom line. It’s hard. People need support. People need funding. People need resources. People need to ask and accept help. And that’s what it comes down to. So I am here to scream it from the mountain tops.
There’s help available. Please ask, please come see us.
MARTS:
Yeah. And I would say, that I’m celebrating caregiving because of the people that I’ve met through the process of being a caregiver. I would have never, really, truly believed that I could have found such a great group of support people who are out there caring for others.
And again, we’ve talked a lot, my mom, your parents, but caregivers are spouses. And that’s a different caregiving journey too. And then there are siblings that are caring for each other. And that’s an interesting path as well.
And so just kind of that reminder that we’re celebrating caregiving because of all the different types of people who are doing this and taking the time to invest and be there for their loved one.
CAHILL:
Well, and I have, it warms my heart daily, I have neighbors, I have church groups, I have friends that come in and become family caregivers for people they hardly even know, but they see that there’s a need and they’re willing to step up and support those folks. And I’ll support everyone, but when neighbors reach out, it’s some of my favorite consultations to be able to help those folks help their friends.
MARTS:
Yeah. Yeah. And we hear a lot from the caregivers themselves because that’s who we tend to end up talking to a lot.
We don’t always have an opportunity to hear from the care recipient. And so one of the other ACL, Association for Community Living, prompts is having a care recipient say, if it wasn’t for my caregiver, and I don’t know if you have a particular care recipient on the top of your mind, I know I have one. But, you know that if it wasn’t for my caregiver, who knows?
CAHILL:
Gosh, I could probably fill that in with a lot of different things, but I probably could sum it all up with, if it wasn’t for my caregiver, I wouldn’t feel the love I feel.
MARTS:
Yeah. Yeah. For sure.
CAHILL:
I tell my caregivers that all the time when they’re in my office. If you’re in my office asking how you can better take care of your person, I know they’re being taken care of. And so for me, it’s who’s taking care of you. So yeah.
MARTS:
Yeah. So true.
Also kind of the Association for Community Living, they have a national strategy around supporting family caregivers. They have three things that they like to see caregiver support kind of focus on. And so I’m going to say these and then ask for you to comment a little on how our organization kind of taps into these.
One is placing the family and person at the center. Two is addressing trauma and impact on the family. Three is elevating family caregivers and direct care workers.
So I can, of course, repeat those two, but you know, so how do we place family and person at the center?
CAHILL:
A lot of my counseling, a lot of the message that we relay, is ensuring that their person has a seat at the table. And so we deal a lot with dementia, and we get to the point where folks with dementia can’t make their own decisions. And so really helping folks understand people’s rights.
And just because we get old and we make bad decisions, we still get to make those decisions. And so just kind of help reminding the family where everybody stands, so to speak, and how to have the right conversations so that everybody can be in agreement on the care plan going forward. Did that answer the question?
MARTS:
Yep, excellent, thanks. And then how do we address trauma and impact on the family? I think we’ve talked a lot about this. Yeah, we’ve definitely said a lot. But just maybe a little reminder here.
CAHILL:
Most people don’t think of trauma in the same way that I think we’re referring to trauma here. And so people think of trauma as like horrific accidents or plane crashes and things like that. But you know, something that your mom said to you when you were little can cause trauma. And I can attest to that.
So we deal with trauma from little comments to actual, very traumatic, plane crashes and things like that. And so, one of my care planners, Jennifer Horn, she just did our support group, and she talked about trauma informed care.
And really, it just comes back to the sensitivity of what your person has been through, and sort of putting yourself in their shoes, and trying to understand where they’re coming from, and how they got to where they’re at in their life journey, and then being able to provide appropriate care to not further traumatize, so to speak. And so a lot of that is the comments that were made when you were little from your mom, and now you’re having to give your mom a shower. And that brings back that trauma of that comment that she made.
And so that’s, people don’t make that association all the time to a trauma. And so that’s really where trauma, in trauma center, trauma informed care comes from is just putting yourself in the place of the other person so that you can be more sensitive to what they’ve gone through.
MARTS:
Great. And the last one is, how do we elevate our family caregivers and our direct care workers as well? Really kind of the family caregiver piece, but what do we do to elevate them?
CAHILL:
Well, hopefully, Caregiver Pampering Day is one way. Hopefully just us providing safe spaces for them to do what they need to do in their caregiving journey, whether it’s learn from the experts that we bring in to talk with them, finding support in a support group with other caregivers, coming to Caregiver Pampering Day. My hope is that we’re providing a safe space for them to relish in the fact that they are a caregiver.
It’s a pretty thankless job for a lot of our family caregivers. And so we really just try to validate their feelings and help them feel like they’re doing the best job that they can do, and let them leave with a little bit less stress on their shoulders, hopefully.
MARTS:
Yeah, so a nice thank you, some pampering, walk away with less stress, all good things.
And then as we kind of come to a close here, we were fortunate enough recently to get a grant to start kind of a innovative way of supporting caregivers. Can you talk a little bit about what our grant is going to be doing?
CAHILL:
Yes. So you said something earlier, and it totally crossed my mind. But respite comes in a lot of forms. And respite is a very important tool for any caregiver to have in their toolbox.
And so typically, when you think of respite, you think of time away from your person and a break from caregiving duties. So for me, we provide that already through our respite voucher program.
So I just want caregivers to have fun. Fun is an important part of every day. And if we’re not laughing and enjoying our day-to-day life, then what are we doing here?
So we came up with a recreational respite voucher. And so we applied with Easter Seals, and we got some grant funding. And we’re going to be able to give away recreational respite.
And we’re going to be able to help family caregivers connect with their loved one. Their loved one needs to have about mid-stage dementia. But we’re going to have a play specialist go out and work with them and teach them how to play with their person to hopefully create some more meaningful moments, opportunities to have a little bit of fun in the day, and just opportunities to find new and exciting things to do, versus just, again, the monotony of the task of caregiving day after day.
MARTS:
How nice.
CAHILL:
And they’re going to walk away with, I think, six new games. Now I can’t remember. I think six new games that they’ll be able to keep and continue to play with their person even after the play specialist is gone.
So we’re really excited to be able to give folks a new, kind of a new different form of respite in ways that they didn’t probably think of respite before.
MARTS:
So true. This is great. I’m so looking forward to hearing how this all works out and hearing the stories that we’re going to get. And it’ll be a wonderful year ahead. So thank you.
And so in closing, just kind of remind people where we’re at and what our center is called.
CAHILL:
It’s the Family Caregiver Support Center at the area agency on aging. And yeah, we would just love for you to give us a call and ask us your questions and let us provide the support and resources that you need to be the best caregiver you can.
MARTS:
Great. And our phone number is 719
CAHILL:
471-2096. My direct extension is 144. Give me a call anytime.
MARTS:
Great, Super. All right. Thanks. And we’ll see you at the Family Caregiver Support Center. Take care.
CAHILL:
Thanks.
MARTS:
That’s the show. Thanks to all of you for being with us today. Aging with Altitude is created by the Pikes Peak Area Council of Governments’ Area Agency on Aging.
Visit us at ppacg.org and click on aging services for more information about the programs of the area agency on aging.